Recently, I’ve felt something stirring.
That sounds a bit daunting – like it should be the opening sentence of the prologue, the beginning of an entirely new story. But this isn’t the beginning. It isn’t even really an end, I guess.
I’ve been thinking about my time in Copenhagen a lot lately. Maybe it’s the nostalgia finally hitting, triggered by DIS’s announcement of a cancelled upcoming fall semester. It could be the yearning for cool fall days and late winter nights. Or, most likely, it’s just the uncertainty of not knowing where or when I’ll be moving forward; when any of us will be.
Regardless, when I think back to my time in Denmark, to when I felt the most peace and love in my heart, I think of the people. I think of the cozy movie nights with my friends at home, the fighting over who got to sit on the couch and all the random snacks that would inevitably be produced throughout. I think of walking into class and feeling ten times lighter seeing my core course friends sitting at our table, talking and laughing and catching up and not at all upset to be stuck in class with each other on a beautiful Danish day.
In times of stress, I’m reminded of coming home to the delightful surprise of Diana’s cooking, following Lizzy aimlessly around the city to find just the right stoop to sit on, and taking comfort in the constant of always waking up to find Grace on the couch with a cup of tea. I remember Andre serving his grandmothers secret orange cake recipe, and getting way too tipsy off wine and charcuterie with Jack every Monday night, even Sean’s intense concentration and excitement over a newly acquired Lego House model. Sometimes it’s Lauren’s bubbling excitement over a tiny, perfect moment of her day, or raiding Elke’s closet before each outing, and Griffin always arriving with her jammies on and bottle of something bubbly in hand.
I have a feeling, you might even say a certainty, that I’m not quite done with Europe. It will never be the same – I’ll never feel the bone deep sense of home. While Copenhagen will always be standing, always be waiting, the people won’t be. I will never again experience those moments, or the sense of belonging that came along with them. This thought makes me cry, it makes me laugh, but most of all, it makes me smile.
I guess I wasn’t ready to say it six months ago, or just simply didn’t feel the need at the time. So, I’ll say it now:
Farvel, Copenhagen. Tak for alt. ♡